|Sit down, take a moment, and breathe…|
I am, on days such as these, a bear with very little brain.
I suffered greatly when my kids were very young from sleep deprivation. I broke two toes whilst my son was being breastfed, from walking into the large wooden blanket box in our bedroom, and didn’t notice until about 24 hours later the damage I had done to myself. I still suffer now, especially during the Summer months (this morning’s full-on Fox Cub War outside our bedroom window partly prompting this post) and it makes me realise how subjective I can become on too little sleep and too much caffeine.
I also find myself grasping some newly-awakened truths about my perception of the game in reference to the rest of the player base.
I had a blast writing up the Argent Tournament Guide over the weekend, and it occurred to me then that something that has become (to me) pretty much like waking up to feed a child in the middle of the night could be a new experience to someone else. It is easy to get complacent over time, to assume because you do something with regularity it will be simple for everyone else to grasp. When I went back to try and describe jousting, for instance, I really struggled. In the end I just did it every day for long enough for it to become second nature, and didn’t really analyse what actually happened in the learning. I am therefore very grateful to those with more awareness of me who were able to provide some constructive details of how things worked. It makes me realise I need to spend more time looking at details…
Then there are the moments when I get bogged down in what I can’t get to happen, rather than focussing on what actually needs to be done, which resulted last night in P running off a cliff and falling to her death, thinking she’d summoned her flying mount to avoid said grizzly fate. Archaeology is a pig: I know this, and its not as if this fact has only just registered, but last night I let the RNG get to me. These are the things that other people simply chalk down to acceptable variation and work through without getting all stressed and grumpy, and on most days I would be the same. I make a point to tell my kids that ‘using tiredness as an excuse is not acceptable’ and its true, you should never fall back on failings as a way to justify your actions.
Sometimes, you just let your perception distort the real truth that remains a constant.
Lots of you guys are new to this game and haven’t been around forever. Many of you are infinitely more patient and brilliant and awesome than I am on days like today, and take wonder in things I have begun (quite frankly) to take for granted, and I should apologise if, at times, I come out of posts looking like a grumpy old dwarf, but on those days that’s probably closer to the truth than I’d like to admit. This is where its wonderful to have reality checks like Twitter to remind me that, yes, other people do think that what I do is still okay and relevant, even if I feel like I’ve been hit on the back of the head by a large chunk of pine.
Every mount, therefore, should be progress and not feel like its an effort. Every dig gets me one step closer to my goal, and I will eventually get what I’m looking for. Patience is a virtue, and if I’m having trouble rationalising things in game, its probably a good time to go away and do something else… like write a blog post.
If you’ll excuse me, I think it’s time for a cuppa… :D